9 Powerful Strategies to Effectively Resolve Relationship Disagreements

Best Ways of Dealing with Disagreements in a Relationship

Since both persons in a relationship come from different backgrounds, with totally different points of view, the chances of development of a disagreement are immense. But how these differences are dealt with makes a relationship a success or not. Following are some of the best ways to handle the disagreements in a relationship effectively.

1. Communicate Openly and Effectively

Communication is the lifeblood of any good relationship. In case of disagreements, talk out the problems with your partner.

a. Active Listening

That is, you pay complete attention to your partner: receive the gist of the message, react appropriately, and remember what was said. Prove that you really mind by using nonverbal behaviors to listen instead of just saying, “I understand,” while nodding your head.

b. Speak Clearly and Honestly

It involves clear speech and honesty. Be straight in your feelings and thoughts. Make “I” statements where you feel free to express your feelings, like saying, “I feel that I am not being heard when I share about my day,” instead of “You never listen to me.”

c. Calm:

Keep cool in the course of the argument. If tempers are high, go ahead and cool off then revisit when both of you have calmed.

2. Avoid Blame and Accusations

In most cases, blame and accusations add fuel to the dispute thus making it harder to solve.

a. Keep the Focus on the Issue

Stay with that one issue; never drag in the past, and never generalize. Stick to the subject and avoid sidetracks into other often-related conflict areas.

b. Show Respect

The conflict should be entered respectfully, and a serious effort made to understand your partner’s perspective. Name-calling, sarcasm, and personal attacks are not respectful ways to handle conflict.

c. State the Issue in Neutral Terms

Phrase complaints in terms of neutral behavior that never criticize qualities of your partner. For instance, instead of saying “You are always late”, say “I get frustrated when we don’t leave on time.”

3. Empathy

Empathy involves understanding and sharing feelings with one’s spouse. It is at the root of conflict resolution and good emotional bonding.

a. Put yourself in their shoes

See things from your partner’s point of view. It might help you understand better what he feels and wants and make them feel that their opinion is equally important.

b. Validate Their Feelings

Also, acknowledge and validate the feelings of your partner, even if you do not agree with them. Something as simple as “I can understand why you would feel that way” can be incredibly helpful in letting your partner know that you realize from where they are coming.

c. Be There for Your Partner

Show empathy and encouragement. Tell your partner that you’ve got their back and that you will find a solution together.

4. Look for Common Ground

Common ground is the platform which will close the gap between two different perspectives and lead you to an environment of cooperation.

a. Shared Goals

Notice any common goals, or values with which you both agree. That common ground can help you build a base on which you can construct a mutually satisfactory solution.

b. Compromise

Be willing to compromise. This might involve both partners finding middle ground that, though not ideal for either of them, can be lived with. It might also mean giving up something that you want.

c. Work Together

Treat the disagreement as a team effort. Use language that includes both partners like “let’s figure this out together” or “how are we going to solve this problem?”

5. Take Responsibility

This is crucial to maintain the trust even when there is a fall-out.

a. Own Up to Your Mistakes

Never be afraid of your actions; however at least have the grace to own up to them and speak up if you have made a mistake.

b. Avoid Being Defensive

Do not go on the defense when your partner points out to you something which you have done that was painful to them. Instead, listen and give regard to what they will say.

c. Earn an Apology

Make amends and ensure that the same problems don’t rise again in the future—either by change in you or finding other avenues to communicate through.

6. Set Boundaries

Good boundaries will obviate most conflict and give both partners the opportunity to feel respected and loved.

a. Clearly Set the Boundaries

Establish and agree upon the boundaries that protect personal needs and values. It can be regarding personal time, space, or off-limits topics in arguing.

b. Respecting the Boundaries

It is assumed a partner will respect each other’s limits with the exact same expectation returned. Should one cross over a limit, bring it to light, and openly, respectfully discuss this.

c. Re-examining Boundaries

From time to time, revisit the set-up boundaries that need an update to keep the boundary still effective and relevant.

7. Seek Professional Help

Other times, issues might be too intricate or deep-rooted to be able to solve by yourselves. That’s when professional help jumps in with the right tools and insights.

a. Couples Therapy

Seek professional help from a couple’s therapist who would help in managing the conflicts, improving communication, and enhancing the relationship.

b. Mediation

Let a mediator guide the discussions and negotiations between the two parties, making sure that both voices are represented and heard.

c. Workshops and Seminars

Seek a relationship workshop or seminar to gain some skills in disagreeing and building a far much stronger bond.

8. Practice Self-Care

If one is going to deal with the conflict when one is fully emotionally balanced, then taking care of the self is very important.

a. Stress Management

It can remain calm and focused in the middle of the turmoil by maintaining some stress management techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or exercise.

b. Health Habits

Take care of yourself as a person: Eat well, sleep enough, do things you enjoy that relax you.

c. Emotional Support

Have emotional support for times when you need somebody to talk to outside the relationship: family, friends, therapist, etc.

9. Reflect and Learn

Reflecting on past conflicts and learning from them could help you in dealing with future conflicts better.

a. Look at Patterns

Do you see any patterns in your fights? Do the same issues/behaviours keep on coming up? Can particular triggers be recognized and resolved?

b. Learn from Experience

Consider what worked and what didn’t the last time you and your partner had a conflict. It might help you modify the next approach.

c. Personal Growth

Take time to consider how you can be a better partner and grow in communication and conflict skills, since conflicts themselves make for a chance at growth.

Also read: Top 8 Relationship Challenges and Powerful Solutions to Overcome Them

Conclusion

Although differences are something natural to be in any relationship, they do not have to necessarily culminate into quarreling or other such undesirable interactions. That means listening, agreeing, being sensitive, taking responsibility for yourself, setting limits, seeking professional guidance when appropriate, taking good care of yourself, and reflecting. You stand a better chance of handling such disagreements amicably enough to have your relationship stronger, with the two of you closer to each other. It’s not whether conflicts are to be bypassed or never to arise, but how one navigates these with respect, understandings, and dedications to growing into happiness together.

Other Sources: Verywellmind