Neutralize the Explosive Hidden Issues Threatening Your Relationship

Key Points

• This will rapidly degenerate into feelings of undervaluing a partner when feeling unappreciated and unseen.
• The resentment builds up as feeling overlooked or unappreciated by the partner goes on.
• Feeling valued and understood is key to emotional intimacy.

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How Not Taking Your Partner for Granted Only Improves the Situation

Intimate relationships are based upon mutual respect, appreciation, and continuous labor. One thing, too, that just about always destroys a lot of partnerships is taking one’s partner for granted. This silent relationship saboteur can slowly eat through even the firmest bonds, sawing into the edges with disappointment, resentment, and finally causing a break-up.

The Dynamics of Taking Someone for Granted

When one begins taking a partner for granted, it is assumed that he will always be there to provide help and support. Naturally, it happens that soon after the getaway provided by the honeymoon phase of a relationship wears off, the day-to-day routines that follow can make everything seem, well, too routine. This can be demonstrated in many ways: not showing appreciation, not acknowledging your partner’s efforts, and not making time for meaningful connection. When he feels unappreciated or overlooked, he feels undervalued, which hurts his self-esteem and negatively affects the emotional well-being and relationship.

How Taking a Partner for Granted Affects Relationships

Feeling taken for granted can have deep and wide-ranging effects. Sometimes it looks inconsequential at the very beginning but demonstrates itself as a huge problem down the line. Some of the important effects are:

Erosion of Emotional Intimacy

People rest on the bedrock of emotional closeness because it helps them feel valued and understood. If life is bereft of appreciation and recognition for partners in a relationship, then emotional distance that could pull off the task of sharing feelings, dreams, and vulnerabilities becomes much too difficult to handle and make up for lost ground in deep bonding.

Example: Lia stopped sharing her daily experiences with John because he seemed disinterested and never asked about her day. With time, she felt emotionally withdrawn from him.

Growth of Resentment and Frustration

One may build resentment when he feels underestimated or overlooked by his better half. It becomes very frustrating, which can show in arguments, passive aggression, or even withdrawal. All such negative exchanges reinforce a circle of the downfall of the relationship.

Example: Juan always felt overlooked by the same attribute—managing household chores, which caused frequent rows between him and Lisa over trifles.

Lowered Investment Motivation

Feeling taken for granted can make many people less motivated to continue investing in the relationship. If one feels that efforts are not being recognized or returned in kind, there is very little point in trying anymore. That quality of the relationship declines further.

Example: Emma stopped planning date nights because Mike never acknowledged her efforts making her feel her attempts were futile.

Potential for Infidelity

Feeling unappreciated will Better facilitate seeking confirmation and appreciation outside the relationship. This helps to alleviate blame for infidelity but does show just how important mutual thankfulness and bonding are.

Example: Troy felt unappreciated at home and found himself talking to a coworker who appreciates and really listens to him, which eventually lead to an emotional affair.

Knowing the Signs

The ability to identify when you are taking your partner for granted is critical in changing the problem. Some common indicators include:

Lack of Communication

The conversations remain superficial or strictly practical—there is no effort to engage on a deeper level emotionally.

Example: Janita and Tomas’s conversations become one of bills and schedules—but no deeper emotional engagement.

Acts of kindness or support become routine and go unthanked or unappreciated.

Example: Joe no longer thanks Jill for making dinner every night, and Jill felt her efforts were not recognized.

Spending Less Quality Time Together

Spending quality time together becomes scarce as both parties do other things rather than spending time with each other.

Example: Rachel and Steve spend every evening on their phones or watching TV separately rather than as a couple.

Failing To Cherish Special Moments

Anniversaries, birthdays, and such other important events in life must be recognized and celebrated.

Example: David forgot their anniversary; and this error made Marianne feel belittled and unimportant.

Solution

Talking about the challenge of being taken for granted demands some intentional moves by the couple. The following are the steps:

Show Appreciation Routinely

Be grateful for everything, however small it may be. Sometimes only a “thank you” will make your partner realize how important he is for you.

Example: Saying “thank you” when your partner makes your morning coffee would make him/her feel appreciated.

Quality Time

Make time for you and your spouse to bond in each other’s presence regularly. Quality time is the key to bonding, whether it is a ‘date night’ or a weekend away, or an evening spent with no disturbances.

Example: Setting up a date night once a week to have fun while bonding with each other.

Open Communication

The atmosphere should be freewheeling, with both partners freely receiving information and easily sharing feelings and concerns. Open communication will help nip issues in the bud before they turn into more significant problems.

Example: Check in regularly with each other on how you are feeling about the relationship.

Express Gratitude Through Actions

Small actions of making favorite meals, putting down sweet notes, and surprise planning show thankfulness and will keep the relationship alive.

Example: Put up a note saying “I love you” on your partner’s car or cook his/her favorite breakfast on any random day.

Engage in Self-Reflection

Take time frequently to reflect over your behavior and the impact it has on your partner. Are you making them happy and protected, or do you take what they do for granted?

Example: Do you often sit down and reflect on whether you have been appreciative of the contributions and efforts of your partner?

Also read: Create Powerful Collaborative Solutions with Your Partner

Conclusion

Taking a partner for granted is like a ticking bomb that can explode any intimate relationship at any time. Recognition of the signs and purposeful showing of appreciation, communication freely, and spending quality time can diffuse any bomb and shape up the couples to enjoy a healthier, more fulfilled relationship. In a successful relationship, work will always have to be put in and come from both parties committed to valuing and cherishing each other.

These strategies will assist couples in enhancing bonding and ensure the message that makes each party feel so special is conveyed back to the other, thus making it all the more resilient and fulfilling relationship.

Other Sources: LinkedIn